It is not easy to suppress the real me inside. Some say there is a ‘devil’ in each of us lurking into the surface of our appearance through the veins of our vulnerable heart. It seduces us in every way it can to lure us into the edge of our senses. Once we are overcome by this seemingly innocent wish…before we know it…it is too late to admit that we are powerlessly wicked. So, in this holy month of Ramadan…I admit that at times it is so hard to ignore the seeds of past that are flashing through my eyes. I think Allah intentionally dares and challenges me with this ordeal. He presents every night right in front of my eyes….an enticing being that I cannot resist but to overlook. After all this time of abstinence…..at the moment ….Allah does give me an ordeal ….that only I myself can cope with. It is hard….yes…. but Alhamdulillah it has been nothing but a passing infatuation and admiration. J. And….the worst is that…..or should I deem it as the best thing ever….. I did nothing but to ponder of what could have, should have, might have, would have…..been J
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